who are afraid of being ruined by success should get a job with the weather bureau.
|Husband answering the telephone "She's
not home, Mrs. Smith. Would you like to leave a rumor?"
||Adolescent : One who is well informed about
anything he doesn't have to study.
|"When the eyes are
closed, the hearing becomes more acute." says a medical authority. We
have noticed several people experimenting in church.
||There is nothing wrong
with having nothing to say----just as long as you don't say it out loud.
habits----The bad ones all grow wild.
||Taxes may be staggering,
but they never go down.
|Some girls will scream
at the sight of a mouse and then climb right into the car with a wolf.
||Women can keep a
secret just as well as men, but generally it takes more of them to do it.
|When a man forgets
himself he usually does something that everyone else remembers.
||You can't judge the
modern girl by her clothes. There isn't enough evidence.
"Whenever I meet a man who would make a good husband. he is."
||It will be interesting
to hear today's teen-agers tell their children what they had to do without.
|Don't underestimate love
at first sight. Most of us might not pass a second inspection.
||The trouble with being a
parent is that by the time you're experienced, you're unemployed.
|Never Buy anything with
a handle on it. It means work.
||Education is what is
left over after one has forgotten the facts.
|Ad in a newspaper:
"For sale. Complete set of encyclopedias. Never used. Wife knows
||A teacher scolded a
pupil : "if you don't learn to write, nobody will be able to read your picket
|Inflation : the system
whereby if you save long enough to buy something, you can't afford it.
||In the old days, if you
wanted to know whether a girl had knock-knees, you had to listen.
an argument is sound ___and only sound!.
|Any government that is big enough to give you everything you want
is big enough to take everything you have got!
||A little girl ran into the classroom and told the teacher:
"Two boys are fighting in the schoolyard, and I think the one on the bottom wants to
|Some of us are like a
fence. We run around a lot without getting anywhere.
||Success is relative.
The more success, the more relatives.
|Do you know why
lightning never strikes twice in the same place? It doesn't have to.
||Pity the poor
housewife. when she feels a bit weary, she has no place to stay home from.
|Anyone who doesn't
worry about the world situation these days ought to have his television set examined.
||One nice thing about
the old fashioned blacksmith_when you brought your horse to be shod, he didn't think of
about 40 other things that ought to be done.
|Do not confuse an open
mind with a hole in the head.
||It's better to become
bent from hard work that to become crooked from avoiding it.
|A wife is a great
comfort to a husband during the distressing times a bachelor never has.
||Mother say that at
Christmas time the kids hang up their stockings. After that it's a full year before any
one of them hangs up anything again.
|The difference between
being a high-spirited child and a juvenile delinquent is whether he is my kid or yours.
||Girls bathing suits
are so brief these day that there is probably more cotton in the top of an aspirin bottle.
|Some people never get
interested in anything until it is none of their business.
||Mother to small son:
"If you don't want it, don't eat it. I'll put it in Daddy's lunch tomorrow."
|The income tax people
know what to give a man who has everything. An audit.
||The Stone Age is from
16 to 60__and the larger the stone, the better she will like it.
|A man was asked by a
salesman if his wife was home. "She must be," sad the husband. "the phone
is still warm."
||One reason experience
is such a good teacher is that she doesn't allow any dropouts.